Wait your job guard rail.
trying not to be intimidated
Sick kicks for the ladies and it
Is only available in select
Boutiques .
what does that mean?
tonight we pepper spray this
Maniac in the face.
I show off my new fire arm and
Sho you a complete way to text
Your emotions.
Breaker, breakerb, any good
Buddies in this pippin park.
Drop the hammer and I am going
To pose in this wiggy wagon.
[laughing]
must not have had the chains
On.
I hope that tow truck has triple
A.
Now would be a good time to
Transform in optmuspond.
Ice off road truckers looks way
More deadly.
Equally unwatchable.
You don't have to worry about
The next woman shop lifting
Anything.
¶ ¶
(whistling)
Looks like we have a perfect 10
On aisle three.
Now it is the beauty aisle.
These dove commercials keep
Getting sexier and sexier.
She must have memorized her
Rewards card number.
there is a one on aisle six.
I came from the frozen food
Section .
I hope those tasteful jokes
Met the approval of our friend
In the jezebel.Comwho were
Offended about my comments about
Women.
We'll go back to making fun of
9/11 and rape and aid and canc
Yer autism and holocaust and
School shootings and other
Things that are way less serious
Than a woman's body image.
Get your nuts off of the next
Guy's face.
His knee just exploded.
Haha, now you have to go to the
Hospital in a sing let.
Black eyes were born with a
Third leg anyway.
This is going to help his dance
Moves look that much cooler.
Now the almighty we'rewood
Hockey.
his back hair distracted you
From the naked child mannequins.
[laughing]
there is your base romney, go
Pander to them.
Game of thrones of more of this
Maybe I wouldn't instant he hate
Everyone who enjoys it
Stepping in between two angry
Black people is the bravest
Thing a white can ever do.
[bleep]
Woah.
Wait, wait.
[bleep]
No, no.
that stops the fight because
No one wants to get near the
Freak who eats the potatoes
Chips from the outside of the
Bag.
Sour cream and onion keeps them
Away.
Best snack food for defusing the
Argument.
the bugles.
you got the e-mail.
I didn't get it bleep bleepp
[bleep]
Oh.
[laughing]
I wish their blood was made
Of spinach dip.
What is next?
¶
Oh. skydiving have early bird
Specials?
Now we'll take a break for
Respect our elder in this week's
Break down.
[applause]
I am not sure if that is a
Granny or a [bleep].
80 is the perfect age to take a
Skydive.
There is not much life left in
Either risk.
It is a good time to try heroin
Haurn.
She's getting cold feet.
Mind is the first to go.
If she is not afraid to wear
Teal and purple.
she never felt so barely
Alive.
Last time she had a man strapped
To her back was in prohibition.
johnnie in utah.
That harness seems loose.
She's just like a bird right now
Because she is bleepp bleep
Everywhere.
I am shocked there are not
Thousands of tissues and pennies
Flying out of her pocket.
for her whole life to flash
Before her eyes she would have
To fall from the moon.
Look at that wing.
It is her skin.
[bleep] let it out and glide to
Safety you old bat.
That is more reliable than her
Harness.
Last thing anyone needs for the
Ancient broadto release the
Ancient utters.
And rip the cord and safe
Himself or touch me maw's back.
Thang is what we all would have
Done
Heavens to betsy she is alive.
Grand kids are to wait to get
The inheritance for another week
.
For that we thank you.
We'll be back.
But first she probably should
Have gone with a lite beer.
you ever called.
Guys?
We are going to demonstrate how
His neutralizer can negate
Affects of pep are spray.
Get it all over you .
Spray.
You get it in your eyes.
Hold it in your hands.
[laughing]
how are you feeling hur up.
it is still having an affect
On him.
Open your eyes get some water.
what do regular people
Without neutralizer do?
they die.
(crying)
It is fives, we think he may
Have had an allergic reaction to
The pepper spray.
without it, he cou die.
he must have made a bad batch
Of neutralizer that.
Human guiny pig was testing a
Pepper spray neutralizer that
Works as well as russell brand
Hosting anything.
Only one way to neutralize hot
Pepper is ranch and blue chize
And cell arey.
Getting pepper spray is like a
Money shot from satan.
Only thing that burns your eyes
Worse is watch thag chick get
Naked on girls.
I know she's there.
I don't want to look.
pepper spray is the woman's
Go to weapon of church and only
Use if you are semiserious about
Not getting raped.
Bullets travels faster han mist.
What predator is going to wait
While you get the tube.
And nothing is more embarrassing
Than the girl who has pepper
Stray and never uses it leave it
At home.
The cat dander on your sweater
Does it just fine.
I am happy to squirt a hot load
In his face.
It is okay for dude toz cry in
This week's web redemption.
Bad finger your christian name.
no richard is nigh name.
you are a truck driver.
what is more pain .
Of the gonerera or pepper spray.
I never had gonerera I would
Say pepper spray.
tell me what happened in the
Video.
I met a guy named dr. Tom.
Stop it right now.
you think he was a doctor.
I had my doubts.
But he came up with a formula
And I had seen it on the video.
And he grabs the tape and put
Its on his hand and puts a torch
To it 20 minutes and he came up
With another formula to
Counterattack pepper spray.
I thought it would take away the
Pain right away.
was that a bus.
it is the garage.
and he took the spr bottle
Two seconds it is not working
Man.
I can take the pain but it was
Getting in my mouth.
sure.
and it was choking me.
are you good.
What did it feel like?
like a thousand needles.
I don't really remember.
I couldn't breathe and why I
Panicked.
you can handle pain.
it is not going to make me
Cry.
you are crying.
I was fluserated.
I was not crying tears.
it might have been tears.
tears of pain but not why.
I didn't think it was emotional
Cry.
You said you want to drink the
Stuff.
[bleep].
Every time you drink the damn
Thing something made it worse.
I am pretty positive of it.
Crazy it is poison.
is that the same shirt you
Wore.
something like it.
that shirt took a beating.
You were snotting on the floor.
why didn't the doctor test it
On himself.
that's what he did.
He didn't go to the extremes
Like I did.
I seen him spray his face with
Vinegar.
He pulled the old bait and
Switch.
what is pepperin.
if you want the weak stuff go
To walmart and not a gun shot.
I bought it myself.
that is mace.
you feel bad that all you did
Was prove how great pepper spray
Is?
not really it is the tool and
Not the person.
anybody should be able to buy
Pepper spray.
they can, but they have to
Train someplace.
Like in indiana, they make you
Spray it in your face.
spray it in your face?
yes, the ladies picked up
This.
No one has.
No one has ever wrote back and
Said anything.
do you get discounts.
not interested.
without it, he could have
Died.
if not for the neutralizer
Would you have died that day.
not a chance.
you acted like a complete
Pussy.
you ready to get it shot.
he was not pepper sprayed
Since the video.
you bring the neutralizer .
New and improved, you are going
To need it you will get pepper
Sprayed a lot.
Got the good stuff from the gun
Shore.
we'll have you rob a
Convenience store.
you think one --
Don't worry I have the
Neutralizer.
yeah.
are you okay.
I got you.
You got the neutralizer.
and oh. Yeah.
Okay.
There, there.
Point.
Give me everything in the
Register.
you number 67 and with cash
High.
give me the money.
Give me the [bleep] money.
Bleep bleepp.
thank you.
I will take the gun.
you are fine.
Neutralizer.
I can't see.
I got the neutralizer.
You are fine.
Most people would have died
Without the neutralizer.
yeah.
The food.
[bep]
Yes.
Your last test is a girl alone
In the park audly doing gug--
Yoga.
that is not creepep at -
Cheepy.
Creeppy.
I getet neutralizer.
you are fine.
Enjoy her.
where are you baby?
congratulations.
Thanks for the pepper spray.
And you are able to rob a
Convenience store and scare a
Family to death and sexual
Assault a woman.
If you are a crimminal head down
To the store is get a bottle
Today.
How are you doing snots?
long as the wind is blowing
On me, I am fine.
good lord.
Pepper spray really cleans out
The sinuses.
First enjoy the free plugg,
Coca-cola.
please give me calk.
I want a calk.
Give me calk.
Calk.
Cola.
Calk-cola.
And ask them the pric
¶ ¶
[laughing]
I hate the idea of owning a
Gun but love the idea of owning
A cannon.
But they tend to dominate the
Room.
I saw that tinier version I
Hired anarps dealer to smuggle
In one from israel.
I can achieve my dreeps of
Recreating this famous video.
[laughing]
¶ ¶
Ahhhh.
Which one of you lucky fellas
Would like to dig the bb out of
My ass?
Upload a clip to be a chance for
A viewer video.
This week's winner is from josh
And wendy.
¶ ¶
[laughing]
Yeah.
¶ ¶
Oh.
[bleep]
Get off.
Get out.
Here's a thought unzip your fly.
We'll be right back with more
Comedians of comedy.
[applause]
Welcome back.
I would just like to say to all
Of the dads out there.
Sengle with no kids is the best
Way to enjoy father's day.
Enjoy your ugly air tie.
Redemption.
hair on.
what is the word again.
Heron.
heric.
Heron.
harrow.
airline.
Just hair hair wink and get the
Hell off of the stage.
Follow me on twitter and go to
Our blog and check out our store
Where you can buy tosh on blue
Ray.
Comedy central refuses to rerun
The show.
It is the last season, we are
Doing ours by wardrobe and
Starting with hoodies.
They are dangerous and first 10
Episodes they did and man, the
Shows were bad and haven't
Worked out the kinks yet .
I may appear to be balder then.
That was before I could afford
Propitia and black market hair
Products.
and hear about breako berry.
And premiering on comedy
Central.
We have one black character by
Denzil who is played by jerry
Minor.
Would you like to meet him.
that I can that [bleep].
denzil what would you say
Next?
And finally we have used the
Same imoto cons for a decade.
My emotions are more complex .
I have brand new ones to save
Times and lives.
I am coming over to [bleep] your
Vagina .
Simple winky face and tongue out
And the v.
Got to keep one eye open always.
Don't tell me who won the game.
I am dvring it and going to
Tch it later.
X over the mouth and old vhs
Tape.
Every time I get the text this
Means hurry up and get over
Here.
The party is full of asians .
If you need me, I will be in
Mcdonalds doing a bm.
and three is an ass and the
Squickly is diarrhea and why we
Didn't use the [bleep] letter m.
You sneak a phone in.
And probably want to use this
One.
I am going to shank you in the
Yard to earn the respect of the
Cellos.
You a knife.
Knife equal and then sombero hat
With eyes and a mouse - on
Musstatch.
That is a happy solo.
That is my assistant.
I forgot to put my half eaten
Veggie burger away and now there
Are ants.
Can't talk the ghost out back .
Do your part to make these catch
On good job.
Good job.
Good night.
¶ ¶